A little Christian humor

It might be true that Christians take themselves too seriously. It might also be true that atheists take us too seriously (judging from the Christian-atheist debates I’ve seen on some blogs; not this blog, but other blogs)!

So in the interest of lightening things up, I thought I’d dedicate a post to a little Christian humor. Speaking of lightening things up, let’s start with—

Light bulb jokes

How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

One, since his hands are in the air anyway.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?

Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?

10—one to change it, and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But to ensure that the message of hope continues to go forth, send in your donation today.

How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But soon all those around can warm up in its glowing.

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they like the old one.

God Texts the Ten Commandments

Here’s something I read in the June/July issue of Reader’s Digest (and they were quoting Jamie Quatro on mcsweeneys.net):

  1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
  2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
  3. no omg’s
  4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
  5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool
  6. dnt kill ppl
  7. :-X only w/ m8
  8. dnt steal
  9. dnt lie re: bf
  10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH

ps. wwjd?

And finally, one of my favorite jokes—

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac?

He lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

Thank you, thank you very much—I’m here all week!

 

6 thoughts on “A little Christian humor”

  1. How many popes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Just one, and all he has to do is hold on to it because the world revolves around him!

    How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Two. One to do it, and one to videotape it so fundamentalists can’t claim that god did it.

    Reply
    • Very funny, swamifred! I want you to know that I purposefully left out a light bulb joke I had about atheists—partly because I didn’t want to risk any offense so early in our relationship, but mainly because it really wasn’t that funny. :}

      Reply

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